IF you read my "Online Pimpery Aadict" you know that I have had my share of experience online ocmmunity web sites. With my experience I have encountered a whole bunch of bullshit that people put on their profiles that just annoy the shit out of me. I will take this opportunity to vent.

1. UserNames
I cant stand bs usernames. Your user name is a representation of you an who you are and what you are about. So what are girls tryin to say when their username is lick_me_223 or i_suk_dic22 or wanna_taste. Hmmm let me think... "Imma FREAK!" yea that's it that's the message that they are tryin to portray. I also can't stand unoriginal shit like queenb_312, queenb21_2006, and queenb2220063139039432093... Everyone can NOT be the queen bitch.

2. Pictures
Sometimes if the User name hints at the person being a FREAK the pictures usually confirms it. Here are some of the tell tell poses... a) on hands and knees in the doggy style position side view w/ clothes on b) on elbows and knees in the doggy style position front view w/o thong and bra c) on elbows and knees in the doggy style position back view... Those pictures confirm that the person on the profile is a freak and is on the site to do a little more then just meet friends.

3. Personal Message
This is where things get funny. From the username and picture, we've already made judgements that the person is a freak, so why is there be contradictory statements in the personal message such as: "I'm looking for a man that would like me for my mind and not my body" "Don't send me a message talkin bout yall wanna fuck cuz I'm not a hoe" or (my favorite) "Just cuz i have a picture w/ my ass and my chest out that doesn't mean imma hoe or that i'm tryin to fuck anybody on here, cuz im a quite church girl"

This is the most confusing shit in the world. You girls shouldn't show one thing and say something else. That's like a a person w/ ballin shorts, t-shirt, jordans, and a basketball talking bout they dont play ball. that's just confusing as hell...

For the record I'm not saying that all female profiles are like this but way too many are...

We all know that men cheat, that's no surprise. But what most don't realize and fail to suspect is that women cheat too! To me there's nothing worst then a chick that cheats on her man. Guys are almost expect to do it, but when females do it it's just ugly. I know its a double standard but that's just the society that we live in.

My boy introduced me to this girl that he's been dating for a couple of months now. She's seemed to be one of the sweetest females I've ever met. You could imagine how shocked I was when he told me that she has a boyfriend going on 2 years. He seems to be in some far away country serving the US as soldier. I guess she needed some substitute dick cuz das what my boy have been giving her while her man is away.

Now dats fucked up. This nigga is out fighting for our county, the least she could do is keep it tight. I know now that if I have a girl and plan on leaving for an extended period of time, I'd have to break up with her. For 2 reason; 1) I'll probably end up cheating on her or 2) she'll probably cheat on me (which is worst). So the best solution would be for us to separate until further notice.

I know that might sound heartless but would you rather go through months of arguing and stress to delay the inevitable or a short and simple break up where there is a possibility that yall might get back together. You decide.

The worst thing you could ever do when dealing with a female is let her know you like her, the worst! Don't do it fellas. As soon as the bitch knows that you like her you can kiss any type of power in the relationship good-bye. I'm not saying that men should have all the power (yes I am), I'm saying that the power should be equally distributed among both parties. Anyways... if you let a chick know that you fell for her too soon, you'll fuck around and break your neck. I'm not talking about stumbling or tripping, I'm talking about straight up hands to the side, falling face down, head hitting the concrete showing the white meat type of fall. Sounds painful right, it is. You don't want to do that.

What you want to do is play her out enough so that she remains interested. In fact, you'll prolly be better off acting like you don't like her. Then she'll be all over you (prolly not). The fact is this: if a chick is mildly interested and you're highly interested then it's not going to work. If you're mildly interested and she's highly interested then you got that bitch and that's wassup (lol).

So lets say you got yourself in a position where you have the short end of the stick, i.e. she's not as interested as you are. How do you turn the tables around?

1) First thing you have to do is get up. You can't be a confident playa slash pimp slash game tight nigga w/ your face on the ground, not a good look. So get your ass up and brush your shoulders off.

2) Now, close your eyes and picture the one you fell for and say out loud "FUCK DAT BITCH!" Put some feeling into it, make hand gestures and grab your balls and say it again like you mean it. "FUCK DAT BITCH!" Repeat this step as much as necessary.

You are now ready to play the game. When I say "game" I am metaphorically speaking because there are no real winners just people with more experience to build on. The game is very tricky and takes years to master. You might want refer to the movie "How to be a Player" if you get confused (just kidding) or purchase the book "Game Tight Nigga" written by Dat Dude (aka me). It can be found at PimperyPlayas.com. I'll try to give you a crash course, umm... on second thought, I'll just explain the main rule: be an asshole. This may sound easy but its quite difficult because every chick has a level of tolerance when it comes to assholes. It's hard to figure of the level for any one female, this takes practice and trial and error. Just enough assholeness and she'll love you, too much and she'll hate you. This is covered in chapter 3 of the book.

Once you find the level of asswholeness that she is comfortable with, you'll be able to spark her interest. After that has happen you can start to show off how much you appreciate her, little by little. I stress little by little because if you go too fast you might fall again and end up in the same boat you got off of. If she doesn't respond to your asswholeness at all then you never had chance (sorry).

I hope this helps all you playas that have fallen... uno